Anointing Oil for a Trickster

Candy apples lined with razor blades will never gain an advantage on my impeccable digestion.

I tasted the caramel of your praise while my mouth bled from your advice, but thanks for the suggestion.

You love my style of shadow and rebellion, each of which are put into check by my eternal book.

I sold you on the mist of my fading past, now you hand me back your umbrella with an impudent look.

Turn my back on the holy prophets, never! Reverse the decree of righteous kings, how?

Now you bait me with counterfeit religion, clever. It is not enough to crown me theatrically, bow!

The clouds are finally in agreement with my slow but timely ascension.

The speed of my rise does not bode well for you given heaven's water retention.

Now every levy is breached and all of the valleys are completely flooded.

With rubies, emeralds, and sapphires my lengthy garment is wonderfully studded.

My right hand is engulfed in a strong flame that does not hurt or consume.

When entranced upon a lovely melody, it becomes kindled while alone in my room.

Your outside world no longer matches up to the proverb of a coveted oyster.

However, I am not trying to recreate the mistakes of a rigid and sectarian cloister.

If I ever come down from a mountain with two tablets, you should get some water and drink them.

Enlightened gurus proliferate like in-season rabbits, yet the least in God's kingdom can out think them.

They want me to water down what I heard in peals of thunder from the Creator.

Chain me in the basement, but underneath my tongue is the key to the elevator.

I rubbed a magic lamp, and after being pat down, out came a suspicious genie.

Try to ensnare me in the careless phrasing of my wish, I am Harry Houdini.

Go and tell your friends that I reconcile with every thorn bush and weed.

To exercise my power through cruelty is not something I am or will ever need.

I become a light to those who get caught playing in the dark now and again.

However, some will not let me live down the scandal that threatens my amen.

Give me bread and cheers me with your finest faucet water.

My blessings fall upon your household, son, and daughter.